1. I find it ironic that after binding flat all day today (open chest, too, baring my man-chest to the world and almost getting into trouble with my teachers because of it), while trying on my Lenalee cosplay, I need to pad my bra a little >.> orz But the costume is for the most part done. Just need to hem the shorts (which I ended up buying, because I don't have enough time to fiddle with the pair I made) and the shirt. Which for the time being is simply folded over and (also) stuffed into my bra.

(Which reminds me that I need to remember to cover up my tan lines. They look really awkward in this shirt. (And they're annoying, because it just reminds me of how sunscreen doesn't work. I don't want skin cancer--!))

2. Tryed out Urataros!Ryoutarou cosplay today, mainly to test a) if I could handle binding completely flat for an entire school day, b) testing the hair and extensions and c) for shits and giggles because I didn't have to worry about changing for gym so I could as much like a freak as I want~

3. Wigs scheduled to come tomorrow. Picked up some wig heads and supplies yesterday, so I can get styling on that. Need to do the Lenalee wig, Kanda wigs and Tyki if the tailcoat arrives on time. If not, I still have my white/blond wig, that with some work can become a Zombie!Ark Allen. Only problem with that is having to do makeup, but we'll come to that later.

(Also, if the tailcoat really doesn't come on time, I'll need to pack another outfit for the masquerade. I'm thinking the dress I wore to Ball would be good, and I could throw my Lenalee wig on. That plus the fourteen+ yards of tulle petticoat. >.> I swear, that was both my best and worst idea ever, but it makes that dress come together. But I digress...)

4. First day of finals today. I'm happy that I'll never have to see half of my classmates again. Then two more tomorrow, and graduation Friday.

I'm ready to be done with this school. So, so ready. I'll miss seeing my friends everyday, but most of them are staying in town, and I'll be going to Sierra with some of them, so that'll be cool.

5. Only bad part is the apartment situation. The few people I was looking into rooming with backed out (without so much as telling me; it was more of a "oh yeah, about that..." moment) so I need to find something.

Then again, it'll only be for a little while, so staying at home's an option. At least for the next two years.

6. I've decided that I'm finally going to bake that cake for my friends and teachers today. I've been putting it off and since tomorrow's the last day, I don't exactly have much more time.

I also need to return the five dollars I borrowed. Oops-- I'll see him tomorrow or send it along with someone.



I should be sleeping right now. I need to start up on the next costume (Kanda's outfit from when HQ is attacked), finish Mugen and make that tophat I've been meaning to.

Spent the entire day sewing together a yukata, minus a few breaks for food, drink and watching Den-O here or there.

Not writing the essay, working on that fic, the drawings I need to do, or baking that cake that I told myself I'd do. (Granted, the essay will take me a total of thirty minutes to an hour to write and the rest is equally extra curricular.)

I can't find it in me to be disappointed in myself. I was productive, on something I'm passionate about on top of it.

I just tried the thing on to see if I'd have to alter it anywhere and I didn't want to take the damn thing off. I've worn yukata before and thought they were quite comfortable, but those were women's yukata, and the obi acted too much like a corset for me to really relax (although I do like wearing corsets if the situation calls for one).

But this was a men's yukata (for crossplay purposes) and holy crap, are those comfortable. Although, because of how and where I tie the obi (also made by me; I feel so accomplished :D), it gives me a little belly that I just can't make myself care about. Makes me look more like a guy for one thing (although an admittedly less attractive on than I'd like), and the comfort thing outweights everything. (I'll probably be modifying a few things before I don the Kanda wig, though because Kanda + rake thing with just a leetle muscle. Belly = bad.)

But I digress. The entire point of this: I'm happy. Go figure.

I'll probably get working Lenalee's arc outfit tomorrow, after school. And if I'm lucky, I'll get around to finally baking that cake for my friends and teachers.

But now, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Unless insomnia strikes again and I'll just end up writing that damn essay. That's actually due tomorrow. Oh senioritis, look what you do to my work ethic.

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

also, kanda? you're a bastard. stop being so difficult. i was going to cosplay for your birthday, but you didn't like that. so I was going to draw, but you didn't like that either. then the fic, but you're being such a goddamn bitch about it.

don't make me bake you a cake. i will, too.

yeah, that's right.




bitch. but i still love you don't leeeeeave me--



fic in question is about 1/52658954762 of the way through. oh joy...

i'd stay awake to wish one of my favorite fictional characters a happy fictional birthday, but i can't keep my eyes open anymore. yay for place holders or some such nonsense.

Icon demonstrative of both my expression and mood right now. I swear, I've never empathized with a character this much outside of RP or writing before--

But that's not the point.

( No spoilers, but cut anyways. Because even I don't want to read this. )

All of that aside, it's been a good weekend. Productive, but on nothing that I should have been working on. I seem to forget the "extra" in extracurricular, don't I?

But anyways, bed. First I need to clean the stuff off of it. Why must I be such a slob? Ugh--

My Florida friends are graduating today. If I was still there, I'd be walking alongside them. Instead, I'm here.

I'll be honest, there are some regrets. I'm... kind of happy here, but it's not the same. Funny, I couldn't wait to get away before. Now, I can't wait for the summer so I can go back. That's if most of them even remember me; I'm not the greatest at keeping up my end of communication, and I don't feel all that close to even those that I do still talk to.

It's troubling, to say the least.

That makes me feel a little melancholic. But the happiness for them is counterbalancing most of it, I think :) They deserve this.

I have until the eleventh, then I'm leaving the sixteenth for Metrocon. It should be a good bit of closure.

That's not to say I'm ready. Not. At. All.

Depression strikes at the worst times, I swear. It isn't even my fault this time--

Makes sleeping difficult, that's for sure.

My sleeping schedule is so utterly screwed. All I can say is that there's just two more weeks of this, and then freedom~

Question is, can I last two weeks? I sure as hell hope so.

Something I wrote in class a couple of weeks ago. Figured I'd post. I can't tell if I like it or not. Just some speculation and experimenting with a different kind of voice.

( fic. D.Gure. Possible Spoilers, mostly speculation. 380 words. Allen cannot explain it... )



Oh the things I will do to avoid schoolwork...



Edit: I HARDLY RECOGNIZE MYSELF! D:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Ironic how these results seem to be contradicting each other.

Sometimes, I just feel like I'm going backwards.

Time to get your butts out of bed~






I want to mess with them write/draw/RP, but the voices in my head aren't complying. T.T

No time to really post because I feel like I'm about to pass out -- exhaustion's a bitch if I've ever known one -- but I feel like I should at least post something.

Spring break and instead of heading south of the border, I decided to head northeast and take part in a trip to New York, touring around the city and whatnot. Today was the first long, grueling day, and I feel mentally and physically drained. Not because of the trip per se, but it's all just been building. x number of hours cramped into a too-small seat in coach didn't help.

Funny enough, I feel like I've come home, despite the obvious being away from home. There's just something about big cities that appeal to me. Comforting, in a strange way. Makes me wonder what Roseville is to me now. Not a home, that's obvious, but what?

Exhaustion apparently makes me introspective or some such shit. Well, sleep now. Make sense of this tomorrow (or, in all likelihood, not.)

Re: 182

Icon. Fic, a little on the vague side but just something I needed to get out. More Thoughts later.

( 'Slow Burn.' Drabble. Spoilers (Duh). )




Shit ending, I know. No need to tell me. First time dabbling in this fandom too. The beansprout just wouldn't shut up until I'd written something. And why does all my shit end up as angst? Also, any Yullen vibes are entirely not my fault; it's all Hoshino. Really. (I'm a LaviKanda girl.)

Again, more thoughts later, possibly accompanied with icons because I'm just in that kind of mood or some other creative shit, because I need to get off my lazy ass. In the meantime, sleep.




I don't really know why I'm back, but it seems the drama has died down for a while. Perhaps it's time I migrate my way back over here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5D-8HDazuw

I think it was the sound of my heart breaking.

Not awake enough for this shit. Tomorrow will probably be even worse.

Well, Summer, it was good while you lasted. See you in a year...

Burn My Dread
Vocals: Kawamura Yumi

Dreamless dorm, ticking clock
I walk away from the soundless room
Windless night, moonlight melts
My ghostly shadow to the lukewarm gloom
Nightly dance of bleeding swords
Reminds me that I still live

I will burn my dread
I once ran away from the god of fear
And he chained me to despair

Burn my dread
I'll break the chain
And run till I see the sunlight again

I'll lift my face and run to the sunlight